Saturday, March 12, 2011

more stuff

This is what the hallway, living and dining room area look like. A mess. The kids rooms are the only "calm" places in the house...because they are empty.

I'm having flash backs to when I was 10 years old. We were moving from Milwaukee to Menomonee Falls and my sister and I shared a bedroom upstairs. She would have been 16 at the time...I remember that I was supposed to clean up and pack what was in my closet. Not my clothes just the junk items on the floor of the closet. I must have been given a deadline, because what I really remember is sitting on the floor of my closet crying...and crying, late at night because I hadn't packed my stuff. I don't know if my parents told me that whatever wasn't packed they would get rid of, or if I was just so upset at letting my parents down. But I clearly remember the panicked feeling of having to pack. Pack quickly. And packing late at night. Not sure why that all happened, but I seriously remember it like it was yesterday and ask memory is not a great trait of mine. The anxiety of that 10 year old is coming back to haunt me.

I feel like I pack things and then turn around to see everything out of the boxes I just packed. While I know that is not true and is not happening it's just how I feel. I know we have too much stuff and I know I keep talking about it...but it's what's on my heart and in front of my eyes right now. I'm glad we're getting a smaller house and will have to downsize and not get everything out. I'm really hoping and praying that this is the step we need to live more simply. But part of my problem is...I am a consumer. I like my stuff. Some of it holds a high sentimental value for me. So, again, I'm trying to get over it and get rid of it but it's not as easy as it sounds. We've talked about buying a bigger house once we decide when and where to buy, but hopefully by that time we'll have learned to live simply and decide we don't need a bigger house...we'll see.

God is working on me. I can feel it. I need to put my trust in Him. Rely on Him for the strength to get through these next few weeks. I need to realize that this stuff is just stuff and that the MOST important thing in my life is my FAITH in Christ Jesus as my Savior and my family...I don't NEED anything else. Well, okay, I do need daily bread (shelter, clothes, food) but really the extra stuff is just that, extra stuff. So, here I go again...trying to get rid of stuff and then when Greg throws something away I get upset...but the kids loved playing with that...etc. Sorry honey. I realize some of the stuff is necessary but I'm excited to get to the new place we're going to be calling home for a year or so and only unpacking what is necessary...then maybe I can have a big garage sale and sell my stuff to someone else!

Here's another picture of the boxes in the kitchen...the pile keeps growing!

I think I'll go live in the kids room for a while...there's no stuff in there!

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