Wednesday, April 28, 2010

tug of war

If you're a mom,
I know you've felt it.
The tug of war inside your head.

If I clean today, the kids will either
A) end up watching lots of tv or
B) playing by themselves.
But if I just play with the kids today,
the pile of laundry will be bigger tomorrow,
the dishes won't get done,
the clutter will NEVER go away
and so on and so forth.

Then you wonder when you'll get a day off
and realize with this job that just doesn't happen.
AND THAT'S OKAY.
But it's nice to have a little mommy time,
it's nice to go to the bathroom alone,
it's nice to hear your phone conversations,
it's nice to eat warm food...
(I know you're all out there nodding your head with me)
And when you finally DO get a little mommy time,
you feel GUILTY.
But I should have made dinner before I left,
there's still laundry to put away,
I should help put the kids to bed,
my husband and I need some time too...

It's a tug of war,
a battle.
And I wonder how to win at this battle.
I've been a little absent lately.
Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't.
With all the INTERESTING blogs out there to read
it probably doesn't matter if I don't post for a while.

I really feel the need to get "caught up"
even knowing that I never will.
I really feel the need to be a kid again
and just play and play and play...
even though I'm pretty tired lately.
I really feel the need to just get away
from the little blogging world I'm in...
for a bit.

I still have blogging commitments to fill,
teams I'm on and blog swaps I've committed too,
and I will fulfill those commitments,
but I just don't know how much I'll be around here...
for a bit.

I've got a busy week too...
three photo shoots in less than a week.
Funny how I can go months with NOTHING
and then three back to back.

I'll obviously be posting sneak peaks from those sessions
on my photography blog...
but just don't want to commit to anything here right now.
I feel like I've pressured myself into posting EVERYDAY!
And I just don't need that right now,
especially from myself!

Now, my mind might change tomorrow,
I am a woman after all and allowed to change my mind.

But for a bit...I'm gonna log off,
just check my email and do my photo work
and be done with the computer.
I'm sure my hubby will be happy,
and my kids and my house will
no doubt benefit from this as well.

Goodbye...for a bit.

2 comments:

katherinemarie said...

I think the glory of blogging is that it's YOUR space--- you can post when you want and what you want! I hope you will come back to your blog and feel refreshed and re-energized... blogging should always your creative playground... the last thing you need is another chore on your to-do list. :):) What if you experimented with blogging once a week instead of once a day?:) Some people only blog once a month. I know you'll find balance and joy!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox K

Missy said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. It is so hard to balance it all and not feel guilty about any of it.
Enjoy your break.