Thursday, March 03, 2005

i love people

I could not sleep. Well, maybe because I've been sleeping since 7pm. I had a terrible headache today and it just did not want to go away so I came home after church...while Greg was still at church preaching (I went to the 11am service so I did hear him preach). I went to sleep. I woke at 2:45am and Greg could not sleep either so we went and watched two episodes of Friends from season 2. Greg fell back asleep and is now sleeping soundly in the other room. I laid there next to him for a while waiting for sleep to take over but it didn't. So as I laid there I started praying for people. I haven't done that in a while...you know just taken the time to quietly ask God to bless all the people in your life name by name. I usually just utter the general prayer that God would bless my family and friends and that He would lead those that don't know Him into a relationship with someone that does that can share Christ with them. So anyway, it was good to pray for everyone by name, I think I will do that more often. I was also thinking about the huge blessing that my friends are in my life. I hated highschool or at least I keep telling myself that I did. But now that I'm not there I think I realize that everyone goes through that at some point...except Julie...Julie loved highschool. Anyway, I didn't have the kind of friendships I wanted...or I felt abandoned...or just awkward and didn't know where I fit in. But now I am grateful that I went through what I did. It has really helped me to relate with the youth that I work with now...and it has helped me to appreciate the friends that I have now. I know that I am not the best at communicating and I don't always let people know that they are appreciated but please know that you are. I would love to sit here and say thanks to all my friends and list you by name but because I have such a bad memory I am worried that I may forget someone and then they will think they are not my friend or that I do not appreciate their friendship when that is not the case. I do have my two best friends but I think there are so many more that I consider to be my best friends also. What is a best friend really? Everyone has their own definitions and things that really make a friend their "best friend". I have been blessed with some of the best friends of all times and I am so thankful for that. God is so good to me and I dont deserve to have any friends but He has put some of the most incredible people in my life and I am forever grateful. I know that when I am old I will probably have a worse time that I do now with remembering things so if I never tell you how much you mean to me please know that you have had a profound impact on my life and I am so blessed to be able to walk on this earth with you for this time. The great thing is we will have eternity to spend together at the Savior's side and then I won't have a bad memory. You have all helped me in different times and in different places but it has shaped who I am. Whether you are someone I just met, someone I've known forever, someone I dated, someone I thought about dating, someone younger than me, someone older than me, someone I lived with, or someone I don't know very well you have impacted my life profoundly. So please, know that you are appreciated and every kind word you have spoken to me is taken to heart, and every thing you have had to tell me with tough love is appreciated. I need to be held accountable. I forgot sometimes the things I need to do, or need to stop doing. So thank you for taking me with a grain of salt and for remaining my friend. I am sorry that I do not commuicate as well as I should or would like to. I'd love to sit down with you all personally and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze and just get to know you again and where you are in life. But remember the most important thing, if you have met me and you forget me that's okay but if you have met Jesus and you forget Him, that's not okay! I love people and I thank God for the people He's given me to love!

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